Calaram-se as palmas e fecharam-se as janelas.
Calaram-se as palmas e a Alice morreu.
Despiu a bata no final do turno, saiu do Hospital, conduziu até casa, mas antes, antes de chegar à meta, interrompeu a viagem.
Suicidou-se.
Eu não sei as razões para a Alice desistir de tudo isto.
Sei que se fartou de um país que a mandou emigrar e a cujo apelo resistiu.
Sei que se cansou excessivamente de palmas sem eco.
Sei que, pelo caminho perdeu a identidade, oculta num escafandro pesado de suor e da dor dos outros.
Sei que existem incontáveis Alices na minha profissão. Que chegam a casa destruídas por um dia de trabalho sem fim, por uma batalha invisível de quem salva vidas (e não apenas as do Covid) ou de quem mediu vezes demais a frequência cardíaca daqueles que não chegaram a ter segunda oportunidade.
Estou certa, porém, por ser esse o nosso superior desígnio, que a Alice se revestiu, como todos os enfermeiros, de infindável compaixão para aguentar ter dois braços apenas. Num cenário de incompreensível amadorismo político, a saúde ficou para trás. A saúde de quem a perde, a saúde de quem a deve salvar.
Provavelmente, todas as famílias portuguesas têm no seu seio, ou conhecem, um enfermeiro. Provavelmente, todas as famílias portuguesas bateram palmas à janela aos profissionais de saúde quando tudo isto começou.
Nós estávamos “na linha da frente”, grandes heróis, estes que se confrontam com o destino determinados a cuspir-lhe na face e prosseguir.
Mas prosseguir a que custo? Quando é que um penso rápido substitui um profissional qualificado, preparado, confiante? Quando é que medidas avulsas com uma estratégia utópica e fictícia na sua ação dão lugar à primazia da saúde num verdadeiro cenário de guerra?
Quando é que as palmas superam a inação política?
Regresso todos os dias a casa com a exaustão no corpo e o medo no peito. Beijo os meus filhos ao de leve porque nem sei bem se vim sozinha para casa. E tenho tanto, tanto receio do que trago no corpo e na mente.
Confesso, há imagens que não me abandonam. O desespero dos outros, de não salvar os outros, que foi o que nos fez abraçar a profissão, o desespero de não saber com o que conto no dia seguinte.
Podemos continuar a fingir que não se passa nada neste país e que os nossos enfermeiros e restantes profissionais de saúde apenas tratam das arrastadeiras. Mas há um peso que todos vamos pagar, mais depressa do que se imagina. Cada vez mais Alices estão entre nós. Exaustas, exauridas, cansadas de prosseguir na estrada. Bizarramente sozinhas no meio de um incompreensível caos.
Esgotámos um tempo precioso e já não podemos fingir que está tudo controlado.
Silêncio, por favor. Baixe-se o pano.
Chega de palmas.
Morreu um enfermeiro, morreu um de nós.
Talvez algum político, daqueles que assinam decretos que fazem lei de verdade, se lembre de nós e nos dê a dignidade de sermos uma profissão de risco, honrando a nossa carreira e o nosso estatuto.
Talvez nesse dia perceba que não é com palmas e fintas infantis que se combatem guerras.
Talvez tudo o que baste seja apoiar verdadeiramente pessoas. Conceder-lhes o valor que têm e não fazer disso uma oportunidade para poupar mais trocos.
Talvez nesse dia perceba que a farda de anjos que caminham e sobrevivem nos escombros de si próprios não tem verdadeiramente preço, mas tem um custo.
E esse custo chama-se, simplesmente, Vida.
Natércia Lima (Enfermeira, mãe, filha)
31 comentários
Passar directamente para o formulário dos comentários,
Ouch, tão triste.
Esse pessoal de gabinete devia ser obrigado a fazer estágio no terreno.
É tudo estatística para eles, muitas vezes duvidosa ou incompleta.
Mais um crime cometido pelo governo, pela sua negligência e péssima gestão da pandemia. Somos apenas números.
Descanse em paz.
Era imprimir esta carta e fazê-la chegar a casa de todos os portugueses….
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